Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in darkfascination's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
1:37 pm	What is it about life?? I am looking for nothing at the moment-no love, no lust, no nothing... and because I am uninterested there is someone throwing themselves at me... when I AM looking its there but I have to work for it. My arm is getting better... but everything else is getting worse... shoot me will ya? Work is a fucking GRIND!!! I may go postal soon. (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 28th, 2005
11:35 pm	Hoping.... I hope I am a better man than I think I am. I hope I don't die alone. I hope I am a good friend. I hope can begin to feel like myself again. I hope at the end of all this there are answers. I hope I am forgiven. I hope I can forgive myself. I hope that good music and lyrics will always soothe me. I hope God is there to hear my prayers. I hope I bring some little joy into the lives of those I care for. I hope I will love again. I hope that I will always be able to make people laugh. I hope I will always offer a shoulder to cry. I hope that all those I care for will lead long healthy happy lives. I hope my angels never abandon me. I hope George Romero makes more dead films. I hope the Yankees win the World Series this year. I hope that I can finish all the books in my to be read pile. I hope I inspire hope. I hope I will be a husband and a Dad someday. I hope we learn to treat each other right. I hope...... (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 23rd, 2005
9:15 pm	Special!!! Are you real? Are you real or just a dream? It's been so long, I don't know I can feel, I can feel you here with me Even though you're far away Some are special They come back, racing through your mind You were special Your light, your heat Will never die I was lost I was lost and I found you I will know no further love People move People move and fall away Love, you refuse to fade Some are special They come back, racing through your mind You were special Your light, your heat Will never die So regretful, how could I ever be so blind You were special I thought I'd never lose my mind I was pulling far away You were begging me to stay And I thought I was losing you Funny, how the opposite was true Some are special They come back, racing through your mind You were special Your light, your heat Will never die So regretful, how could I ever be so blind You were special I thought I'd never lose my mind Some are special (Comment on this)
Friday, July 22nd, 2005
7:45 pm	Biceps Injury So I completely ruptured my left biceps tendon - tore it completely loose and it rolled up my arms like a shot window shade - no surgery needed - I start lifting weights to strengthen it in about a week - sigh what can you do? (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 18th, 2005
11:26 pm	NECON POST OK - this was my very first Necon so I knew not what to expect - I had met a few of the attendees at WHC so I was a little less nervous than I might have been - as it turns out there was no reason to be nervous at all - simply put "if you attend Necon you are immediately treated as part of the family" - oh sure there are people looking at your name tag to figure out who you are -- but once the sniffing each other for identification purposes is over its "well join the party" and join the party means prepare to drink ALOT! It was fantastic ... everyone is friendly and it the MOST social CON you can imagine - I will be there again next year (God willing) for sure... Now some random memories - -Dan Fox- Yelling out "Hey Darky McDarkness" 3 seconds after I arrived -Beth Massie - talking about "seal squeezins" and pizza cheese rules" -Blookys conversation with Tom Monteleone -Elise Susan Taylor - saying put me down for several on more than a few holes at mini golf. -Dan Fox's 3 holes in one. -"Three all the way" (I'll let your imagination take over there) - Me asking Norman Prentiss if he just hit his ball in the water at mini-golf and his response "yeah and its fucking deep" -Blooky, Dan, Susan and myself desperately searching for that Irish Pub - up and down those same roads for hours. -Being introduced to Peter Straub by Elizabeth Monteleone -Cheese Waffies -Spicy Peas -Saugies -Beth and Barb as the Necon Whores (talented does not begin to describe these girls) -F. Paul Wilson airborne - Jack (Dallas) umping first and struggling with a bottle opener on a alcoholic beverage with twist off cap -Dan Fox's moon shot hit that ended up as only a triple because of a spectacularly graceful fall. -The shirts in the Hawaiian shirt contest. (man I wanted that Hawaiian shirt pillow. -Waving Bev Vincent over in right field because a lefty hitter coming up only to have Bev wave back at me. -Sitting next to Peter Straub during his signing and listening to what a polite gentleman he is to all. -X thundering across the quad -Weston's classic story about meeting Allisa Millano and what happened when he did. -Chet Williamson's song parodies at the Philip Nutman roast. Really hysterical. -Cort Skinner world class puppeteer. -Mary SanGiovanni gives great hugs and is a doll. -Blookys conversation with Elizabeth Monteleone. -Talking to Phil Nutman about anything! -The drinking!!!!!!!!!!! I am sure there are a thousand more memories that will surface after I close this post ... but those were top of mind! Thanks to all I came into contact with at NECON whether we hung out alot or just spoke briefly you all made it an incredibly fun time. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 13th, 2005
12:05 am	Getting Ready To Head For NECON and it could not have come at a better time... 4 days of drunkenness and silliness is what I need right now... maybe it will help erase some of this shit playing in my head! (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 11th, 2005
12:17 pm	This fucking life... I want to howl and rage and rip and tear and scream ... I want an end to the pain and disappointment I want inner peace and contentment... I want to forgive I want to move on... I want it back... I pissed it away... ME... no one else to blame but me me me... God if your there please... I want. (8 Comments |Comment on this)
11:35 am	What a day already... Somewhere in a scrap book There's a rose you gave to me And the photograph thats torn in half And all thats left is me Live happily ever after That came after I was gone And they tell you that you can't go back Then why can't I go on? When should be laughin` at this joke Dressed up as love, diguised as hope And isn't funny after all this time A tear is fallin` when i should be laughin` Sunsets are like a painting, windows like a frame When night comes in and I begin To see it all again 'Cuz i should be laughing at this joke The damage done the words i spoke And isn't funny after all this time Regret can find me when I should be laughin` I should laughin` at life And all of the tricks that it plays I should be laughing at time And how fast its slippin` away Somewhere in a scrap book There's a rose you gave to me And with one last look I close the book And let the past just be When should be laughin` at this joke Dressed up as love, diguised as hope And isn't funny after all this time A tear is fallin` when i should be laughin (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 10th, 2005
11:54 pm	11 Months Ago Today that I quit smoking. Somehow I think I should feel alot better after not having smoked for so long... mostly I feel like crap these day... I exercise every damn day and eat healthier and still feel crappy... oh well I don't give up... I walk 3 to 4 miles a day and lift weights and I will continue until the day I die... I am determined to die healthy... lol... ahhhhh WTF (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 9th, 2005
11:23 pm	Thinking.... I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping While my guitar gently weeps I look at the floor and I see it need sweeping Still my guitar gently weeps I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold you love I don't know how someone controlled you they bought and sold you I look at the world and I notice it's turning While my guitar gently weeps With every mistake we must surely be learning Still my guitar gently weeps I don't know how you were diverted you were perverted too I don't know how you were inverted no one alerted you I look at you all see the love there that's sleeping While my guitar gently weeps I look at you all Still my guitar gently weeps Oh, oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh, oh oh Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah WTF (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 7th, 2005
11:45 pm	More Terrorism.... so the madness continues. When and how does it ever end. I don't think it does or ever will. We don't learn... we just keep killing each other. More fucking, more oral sex, more dancing and holding hands, more talking and laughing, more fucking love. Death comes for us all there is just no need to hurry things up. Thats it for now. WTF! (Comment on this)